A Cry For Help...
I hate asking for help. I really do, especially since I've asked so much in the past, but this situation demands it..

Tuesday night while me and my boyfriend were chilling around the mall, our roommate up and left. We got a call as we were walking around with him saying "I'm going to my dad's, whatever I left behind you guys can keep and sell."

That's it.

No warning that ANYTHING was wrong at all. We were completely blindsided. And while he is still legally obligated to pay his portion of the rent because he is on the lease, I have a distinct feeling that he wont pay a cent. His reason for leaving is a debt of $1K that he put himself in by not paying off his credit card, constantly buying commissions when we advised him not to, and racking up the electricity bill to a whopping $400.

So now, in light of all of this, me and Raph are stuck with an apartment we have no hope to afford. He's only just started his job, and his first paycheck will not be enough to cover anything. My next paycheck only covers a portion of rent and internet/electricity. We have no hope of being able to afford anything without help, and we're also out of food stamps.

This whole situation is playing hell on my anxiety, so much so that it's also interfering with my work (I'm having panic attacks at work .-. ), not to mention both of our depression problems.

If you could just spread the word that I'm taking commissions, or if people can donate (i say commissions first, because I know how donating to a stranger feels a bit odd)...anything would help. Anything at all.

And if you don't want to spread the word, I wont hold it against you, I really wouldn't. It's just that we face the uncertainty of the end of the month, whether we'll be evicted and literally left living out of our cars, or if we'll actually be able to pull through. I just...don't know, and it's that unknowing that's killing me.

at this point, desperation is too soft of a word for how I currently feel...

Just browsing around and suddenly...
I found a very generous raffle on FA! I'm not even going to go into how much this sorta thing would help us out, with all of the problems we've been having as of late, so I'll just leave the link to it here!


We need help..
I've got the whole situation typed up right here..


Long time no see

Holy crap! A LOT has happened since my lat post. Now before I get started on my adventures within the past year-ish or so, just want to forwarn you- I’ve moved to Washington state!

Now, lets tell the story leading up to what has caused us to do so.

In my last post, we were still living with our first set of roommates. It wasn’t exactly the greatest of times to be honest. Having five adults shoved into a tiny two bedroom apartment was horrifying. Everyone stepped on each other’s toes all the time, and life was generally miserable. We were told we wouldn’t really have to pay for stuff, but when one lost his job, suddenly we were expected way too much of, and especially since I was in school full time.

Skip to October of 2011, we had gotten another apartment with two new roommates. Life seemed to be looking up. Even though we had no jobs, we were still paying what we could from commissions. Obviously, it wasn’t enough. At first things were perfectly fine, but after the first two months, things seemed to be going down hill until we all reached a point where we never socialized with each other at all. We survived like that for a few more months before we all decided it would probably be best for us all if we parted ways.

That left our last option- moving to Washington. The trip up here actually wasn’t too bad. I had honestly expected it to go much worse, from past experiences with going to Louisiana and stuff. But we had fixed up the car as much as possible, shoved as much stuff as we could in the car and moved on. We couldn’t afford a uhaul, so we had to downsize all of our possessions by a lot.

It was a very hard process to be honest. Packing things up, my mind was being a jerk and telling me that I was moving too far away, too far from my comfort zone. I had lived in New Mexico all my life and I honestly didn’t want to leave my home. My mind rationalized that my boyfriend had moved around most of his life, so he couldn’t possibly know how I felt.

But that wasn’t true. While yes, he did move a lot, he also gave up everything he had with his family back in his home in Louisiana to be with me. I was being selfish and I had once told myself that I wanted to have a new start with him, in a place that neither of us knew very well.

So here we are in beautiful Washington state, living in the shadow of possibly one of the most dangerous volcanoes in the world. A huge mountain I keep calling Mt. Hyjal for some absurd reason (Mt. Hyjal is a mountain in World of Warcraft). But no, it’s name is Mt. Rainier.

The drive here was relatively uneventful, we had maybe a total of four hours sleep each in our need to get here as fast as a 26 hour long drive would allow us. The only place we really ran into trouble was in the mountainous region of Oregon we passed through. We literally went to the TOP of the dang mountain, where roads didn’t exist. Instead, slabs of ice replaced what would have been nice and safe asphalt. Utah was also a pain to drive through, since we ended up driving straight through the Salt Lake area at rush hour time. When we got here, I tried my hardest to be unimpressed, but I failed horrendously.

For the first month, it was nothing but rain. The sun had ceased to exist, and it honestly made my mind overcast and gloomy as well. I missed my sunlight. But then I realized the good qualities of it being overcast. My eyes are sensitive to light, very much so, so having clouds as natural sunglasses was a plus.

We’ve been here for about two months now, and while I still miss New Mexico, I love it here as well. The town we live in is relatively small, but also in the country side. I love living in the country and hate big cities. The drivers here are jerks though, but I can’t technically drive anyway. After we got here in March, I realized my license had expired in January >_> Thank god we weren’t pulled over.

I forgot to mention the fact that I had a death grip on James’s car almost the entire time I was awake and in the passenger’s seat. I have an extreme fear of heights, and it transfers to even looking up high things like mountains. And huge wind turbines… So whenever I would look up through the mountains we were passing through, I would be immediately seized in nothing but sheer panic. It’s stupid and irrational, and I wish it would go away.

But the two months we’ve been here have been fabulous. While I’m honestly irate at being shoved in a one bedroom apartment with 4 people, I don’t really mind it too much. The people we have now as our roommates are more than just friends. They’re like family to me. As one said “I realized that having roommates is like a never ending sleep-over”. And she couldn’t be more right. We have more fun than I’ve ever had with any other roommates. We all dork out with each other, and it’s just an overall happy place to be. I’m also trying to better myself with James as well. I’m generally and angry and frustrating person, but I’m trying to let it go and just be happy with life and the way things are. I’m also trying to let go of my slight xenophobia.

And now here we are, going on two pages of text in my word document. Anyone who reads this, I want to thank you for sticking with it xP

Now you can have some fun pictures.

screw you wind turbines and your big, swingy arms of death.

Sun beginning to set in Oregon. Too bad the only camera I had available was my crappy phone cam.

Some of the things we saw in northern Utah.

From left to right starting with back row:
Eric, random friend, myself, James, and Becky (AKA Beckloflopsis). Also featuring our dog Oreo and some ferret crotch.

James and Sophia the ferret snuggling.

Sink Cats and Derp Dogs
So, not too long ago we found a cat. This giantly fluffy black cat that demand you to feed her every second of every day. No, seriously. She will meow at you and follow you until you pay attention to her, and then when you're finally loving her, she doesn't want anything to do with you.

Either way, she's a character. One morning we woke up early to find her in the sink.

If you notice, she is also laying on scissors. She wouldn't let us take those scissors.

She also never bit me. No, in fact, she found a better punishment to be licking. Claws and teeth were never enough to get one to leave her alone. Raspy scrapey cat tongue was always the solution. Even in your ear, it was a solution. The ear canal actually seemed to be her favored target, just like Pascal from Tangled.

Lasers were a plus with her. She would go coo-coo for cocoa puffs if she saw that tiny red dot of a light flinging across the floor, and would launch herself half way to the ceiling if placed perfectly on the wall.

I am totally not watching Emperor's New Groove while typing this.

Cat nip was also a plus with the fluffy assassin. If you had the bag, she would try to rip your arm off to get to it, and would roll in it for hours if you rubbed a bit in the floor. Of course, with her dense black fur, those spots are quite obvious.

Unfortunately, Kitty Amazing has been given to a good home since her and other....grr cat don't get along very well. Also, cookies if you get the Kitty Amazing reference. Here, have a picture of evil cat

She doesn't look evil there. That's because she's wondering what the crap I'm holding up to her face. Also, from this angle, she looks uber skinny. This is not the case. She's actually quite the opposite. She'd just as soon rip your face off than let you pet her.

On to Derp Dog! I shall introduce you with this picture.

Cell phone cameras. They suck.

This is Oreo. Oreo likes to try to be cute so he wont be in trouble. In this pic, he wouldn't stay where I wanted him to. So he flopped over and tried to be cute.


It worked. How could I resist those puppy eyes? Simple. I didn't.

This dog is hilarious when he's hyper. When he gets to going, he will run back and forth, kitchen to living area chair and back. Sometimes he will jump too soon and body slam the bottom of the chair. Other times he will ricochet off the back of the chair. All the while he will excite the cat. He will saunter up to her and do that playful bow dogs do and when she smacks him in the face with her paw, he'll be off like a rocket. Sometimes he'll incite the attacks himself, prancing around her and shoving his butt in her face.

That's what happens. He then turns into a fluff-rocket powered on nothing other than cat boops that don't harm him because said cat is declawed. Eventually he will tire himself out and just flop over, but not before a ton of lols ensue. He'll be going so fast that he'll slide on the Kitchen's linoleum floor and inevitably veer into the wall or he will trip over various objects, even those that aren't in his planned path of trajectory.

 Well, in case you are wondering where I came up with Limizuki, I will tell you.

My freshman year in high school, although I don't remember it much, was an interesting time for me. I was starting to draw seriously, rather than my usual doodles. It was also the first time I had ever tried drawing a wolf. How I came about drawing wolves, however, was because of a friend I had along with an anime called Wolfs Rain.

Here's a general synopsis of the conversation we had:

Me: "Oh hay, you has a wolf?"

Friend: "its a fox..."

Me: "I want a wolf!"

Friend: "Its a fox!"

Me: "I'm gonna draw a wolf!"

Friend: "..."

I blatantly ignored the fact that, yes, indeed, her character was in fact a lime green fox. But from that point on, I declared that I would draw wolves.

My first attempt was pathetic, and I am frankly embarrassed by it.

I made my first attempt at the Wolfs Rain style of art. After this design, I thought she looked rather bland, so I added a splash of blue and a few accessories on her.

Yes, she had bows and leg band things. She still retained her spiked collar, however. I was still unhappy with her design, though. I felt she was lacking in major ways, and I really didn't know what to do with her. So I decided to redesign her once again, this time with a 'demon form' and a 'chibi form'.

I remember the days when I didn't know that there was a such thing as digital art. But once I joined an online art community, I knew that i had to try it. It took nearly a year to convince my mom to buy me this mysterious drawing tablet, and when she finally did, I couldn't be happier. It came with two programs too, Photoshop elements 5 along with corel painter. I first experimented with Corel, but soon found that Photoshop was easier to handle. I didn't know there was a such thing as layers, so all I really knew is that it was a smoother version of the old MS Paint. I used the paint bucket tool, just as I would on MS Paint.

It took me nearly four months to realize that there was a such thing as layers. But when I found it, not only did I feel like a complete idiot, I also started to do more and more digital art. With that new found knowledge came Limizuki's new design. I reverted back to simplicity, as I couldn't remember everything that she had on her.

You have to remember that I only had PS Elements 5, and the pen tool had yet to exist in my world. This was a time where Limizuki had yet to get a past life, or even a reason for having a demon form. But as I grew older, I got more inspired to draw a comic. I was pathetic and made it similar to one of my favorites artist's comic, as I was too uncreative to form my own ideas. I drew them traditional, as I had quite a few colored pencils, and unfortunately, I don't have any evidence of their existence.

From there, I discovered a magical thing called shading. I couldn't do it all that well, but I tried my best.

It seems I also had a strange obsession with purple, though i will admit that this strange obsession is still in place. I'm a total tomboy, you see, so this was indeed a strange obsession for me. From there, I experimented more with shadows and highlights, and even tried a picture without a lineart. Well, lets just say it didn't go all that well.

Then I had fun experimenting with transparent backgrounds.

You don't see it now...but the background is transparent. I even tried more detail in my pictures. Though, I only did two of them with extreme detail, finding it to be too time consuming for my tastes.

I went further with my experiments by trying to do real backgrounds, instead of just gradients. My first attempt just had to be one of the more difficult things- rocks and clouds.

Needless to say, I went back to doing simple backgrounds, preferring to make cool designs out of gradient colors. Mostly because I was too lazy to care much for backgrounds. I started to download brushes that people had made and using those, for example, stars. I can't tell how many times I tried drawing stars, and failed miserably. By now, however, I was utilizing my school's superior photoshop (elements 6 lol) to make my pictures, as it was cooler looking and I could use it more than at home. Then only a few months after i first used Elements 6, I recieved CS 2

And here we come to the last stretch of our journey, the art that I create now. Limizuki, after 4 years, has a past now, and ShadowFang ( the demon thing) has a reason for her being. And we also come to Limi's final design, a simple black and blue dire wolf.

And if you're wondering how I came up with the name Limizuki, it's a rather simple story. I made a fail. Her name is a mix of Chinese and Japanese. Li (chinese) means Black and Mizuki (japanese) means beautiful moon. Put them together and you get Beautiful Black Moon. Well, let's just leave it at Black Moon. I put a black crescent moon on her front legs so compensate for her name meaning.

And now I'm experimenting with cell shading!

And this style of shading I learned while watching someone on LiveJournal where you make a layer over all of the other layers, completely color over with a darker color, then just proceed to erase where there is light. I didn't pull it off too well, but you can be this technique is very time consuming. So it probably wont happen very much for me.

Well, thanks for this trip down memory lane, hope you enjoyed seeing the evolution of my art!


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