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Sink Cats and Derp Dogs
limizuki
So, not too long ago we found a cat. This giantly fluffy black cat that demand you to feed her every second of every day. No, seriously. She will meow at you and follow you until you pay attention to her, and then when you're finally loving her, she doesn't want anything to do with you.

Either way, she's a character. One morning we woke up early to find her in the sink.



If you notice, she is also laying on scissors. She wouldn't let us take those scissors.

She also never bit me. No, in fact, she found a better punishment to be licking. Claws and teeth were never enough to get one to leave her alone. Raspy scrapey cat tongue was always the solution. Even in your ear, it was a solution. The ear canal actually seemed to be her favored target, just like Pascal from Tangled.

Lasers were a plus with her. She would go coo-coo for cocoa puffs if she saw that tiny red dot of a light flinging across the floor, and would launch herself half way to the ceiling if placed perfectly on the wall.

I am totally not watching Emperor's New Groove while typing this.

Cat nip was also a plus with the fluffy assassin. If you had the bag, she would try to rip your arm off to get to it, and would roll in it for hours if you rubbed a bit in the floor. Of course, with her dense black fur, those spots are quite obvious.

Unfortunately, Kitty Amazing has been given to a good home since her and other....grr cat don't get along very well. Also, cookies if you get the Kitty Amazing reference. Here, have a picture of evil cat



She doesn't look evil there. That's because she's wondering what the crap I'm holding up to her face. Also, from this angle, she looks uber skinny. This is not the case. She's actually quite the opposite. She'd just as soon rip your face off than let you pet her.

On to Derp Dog! I shall introduce you with this picture.



Cell phone cameras. They suck.

This is Oreo. Oreo likes to try to be cute so he wont be in trouble. In this pic, he wouldn't stay where I wanted him to. So he flopped over and tried to be cute.

...

It worked. How could I resist those puppy eyes? Simple. I didn't.

This dog is hilarious when he's hyper. When he gets to going, he will run back and forth, kitchen to living area chair and back. Sometimes he will jump too soon and body slam the bottom of the chair. Other times he will ricochet off the back of the chair. All the while he will excite the cat. He will saunter up to her and do that playful bow dogs do and when she smacks him in the face with her paw, he'll be off like a rocket. Sometimes he'll incite the attacks himself, prancing around her and shoving his butt in her face.











That's what happens. He then turns into a fluff-rocket powered on nothing other than cat boops that don't harm him because said cat is declawed. Eventually he will tire himself out and just flop over, but not before a ton of lols ensue. He'll be going so fast that he'll slide on the Kitchen's linoleum floor and inevitably veer into the wall or he will trip over various objects, even those that aren't in his planned path of trajectory.

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